When I’m in a room full of strangers, I never really know how to interact because I have no idea what is going on in their minds so, I listen more than talk. I overanalyse each and every movement and word a hundred times in my head before I react to my surroundings, and this happens more often than I would like to admit.
Every day when I wake up, I aim to be myself: I dress the way I want to dress, I wear my hair the way I want to wear it, and I walk out the door in hopes that my inner self-will aligns with my external world. But, as much as I want to admit that I do things for myself, I can’t help but wonder what others will think if I wear a certain piece of clothing or part my hair a certain way. I don’t know why, but I can’t help but create these internal struggles that I can only see and feel. I don’t want to believe that these thoughts are my truths, but they sometimes take precedence. I usually don’t compare myself to others, I can’t help but feel that I have to act, talk, or look a certain way to be allowed to be a part of someone else’s world instead of just trusting myself that I am enough to be loved for who I am.
So, after feeling like this for far too long, I’ve decided to try to put a stop to this way of living. Life is what you make of it, and if I’m living through other’s perceptions, then I can’t call this life my own. Because, truthfully, the only person we should be seeking reassurance from ourselves. So let’s do this. Let’s see how we can be our self in a world that may possibly want to change us.
- Take a break from social media
I think it’s hard to find our own voice when we constantly keep on consuming others thoughts and opinions. While social media channels like Instagram and Facebook are there to connect us with other like-minded people, they can easily put a damper on our day when we see something that could trigger a negative thought pattern. To prevent this from happening, it’s best that we take a break by unplugging once in a while and focus on the things that validate our voice without the need of likes and comments and this would help us in improving our intrapersonal communication.
2. Resist the urge to constantly please others
Seeking validation from others stops us from living our life at its best. Remember: no matter what you do or say, you’re never going to be able to please every single person in this world. Playing safe doesn’t allow us to chase after our dreams. So, I believe that it’s best that we take the responsibility of making ourselves happy rather than appeasing others.
3. Only say things you mean
Nothing is more damaging to our self-worth than saying things that we don’t mean. “Be a man of your word.” Being true to our values and ethos is the greatest gift we can give our self. This allows us to be open and honest with our self. When something comes up that either bothers us or goes against what we believe, we should allow our self to live in the discomfort and politely speak our truth. Usually, people say things they don’t mean because they don’t know how to sit with things that make them uncomfortable, so they’d rather avoid it all together by just doing what the other person wants.
4. Get to know yourself better
You won’t be able to be your true self if you don’t know who you are or what you want out of life. Take a few moments and sit with your thoughts. The more you understand your personality, your likes and dislikes, and where you come from, the more you’ll be able to determine who you want to be.
5. Be kind to yourself and appreciate who you are
At the end of the day, you should be kind and nurturing to yourself while you’re trying to figure out how to be more like yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or compare yourself to someone else when it seems so easy for them to be open and honest with their thoughts. You’re assuming that they’re comfortable in their skin when in reality, they could be having the exact same thoughts that you are.
Remind yourself to focus on your own journey. Do everything in your power to find your voice and take the next steps to live the life you’ve always wanted. As hard as it is to remember, nothing is more powerful than being yourself in a world that wants you to be like everyone else, when being like everyone else is, frankly, boring.